A job shouldn’t define your whole life, but they certainly play a part in defining contestants on The Bachelorette and other related tv series: The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise (the latter premiering soon this summer!).
Every season, a new crop of men (or women) join the cast, and with them come some interesting descriptors that accompany their names during their introductions and confessionals.
If the contestant occupations on The Bachelorette had t-shirts, here’s how that would look for Jojo’s current season.
Bartender is an occupation you’ll find associated with contestants on basically every season of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. Whether or not they were a good bartender, or just an okay bartender is usually difficult to determine. Either way, we’ll drink to that.
Singer-songwriter (James Taylor)
Being a singer-songwriter is an interesting gimmick for a contestant, but it usually doesn’t pan out in the end. And every time they perform a cheesy song, America performs a collective groan. Looks like your career may not get it’s launch on this show, but thanks for playing.
Jojo hasn’t been accused of making too many good decisions this season, but it was probably a good idea that she dodged dating a DJ. Not that there’s anyhing bad about them, but they aren’t often the marrying type. See you next Saturday at 2AM.
Bachelor Superfan (James)
Can you imagine this coming up in conversation?
Jojo: What do you do?
James: I just obsess about you and all that came before and all that will come after.
Jojo: *sips drink*
We imagine Brandon’s job responsibilities on his resume to be something like:
- Liked your favorite music before it was cool
- More flannel shirts than socks
- Hair that goes “woosh”
Did I leave anything out?
Erectile Dysfunction Specialist (Evan)
We refuse to find a relevant t-shirt for this one. Just use your imagination.
Or preferably, don’t.
With a job title like this, you’d think Daniel is a politician. But politicians don’t go on reality shows.
Nevermind, then. Maybe he is a foreign diplomat!
Former Pro Quarterback (Jordan)
Fill in the blank with whatever Jordan’s high school football team was, AKA the peak of his career.
A better title might be “Aaron Rodgers’ brother.” Except for the fact that they hate each other. Why are you dating him again, Jojo?
Former Competitive Swimmer (Robby)
Again with the former professional athletes. What is Robby doing currently?
What do any of these people really do?
If your thirst for crazy Bachelor/Bachelorette contestant occupations has not yet been quenched, check out Buzzfeed’s contestant occupations roundup that spans several seasons and several crazy contestants.
Will you be watching Jojo’s season finale Monday night? Which former professional athlete are you rooting for? Shout out your thoughts in the comments below!